GOD REVEALED THE DATE OF MY PROFESSION WHEN I WAS ALMOST SENT HOME

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My dear brothers and sisters,

Today I stand before you not simply to tell my story, but to share a human experience that many of us know all too well—the experience of waiting, of uncertainty, of wondering whether God is still present when life does not unfold the way we expected.

Every one of us, at some point, finds ourselves standing at a threshold. It may be a delayed opportunity, a broken relationship, a difficult season at work, an unanswered prayer, or a dream that seems forever postponed. We find ourselves caught between what we hoped would happen and what is actually happening. We continue moving through our days, but deep inside we carry questions. We wonder whether our efforts matter, whether our future is secure, and sometimes even whether God still sees us.

My own experience of such a season came in 2021. My perpetual profession had been postponed, and this was my last canonical before I got thrown out of the religious life, and I found myself in a place I had never anticipated. I had prepared, hoped, and looked forward to this important step in my vocation, yet suddenly everything seemed suspended. I was living in the tension between expectation and fulfillment, between promise and realization. Outwardly, I carried on, but inwardly I struggled. There was confusion, disappointment, and a deep sense of uncertainty. I prayed, but often I felt as though my prayers were disappearing into silence. I believed in God, yet there were moments when He seemed distant. Like so many people before me, I found myself asking difficult questions: “Lord, where are You? Are You still with me? Do You still have a plan for my life?”

These are not unusual questions. They are profoundly human questions. They are the questions of Abraham waiting for a son, of David hiding in caves before becoming king, of the disciples watching Jesus die on the cross before they understood the resurrection. Waiting has always been one of the most difficult parts of the human journey because we long for clarity while God often works through mystery.

What I did not realize at the time was that God was already at work in ways I could not see. While I was focusing on the closed doors before me, He was quietly arranging circumstances beyond my sight. Looking back now, I understand that His silence was not absence and His delay was not abandonment. God was still guiding my steps, even when I could not perceive His direction.

During that season, a friend connected me to an online conference, and through that connection, I met Mr. Silas Kiriinya of Abbas Heart World Ministries. To be honest, I approached it with some hesitation. Like many people who have experienced disappointment, I was cautious about opening my heart again. Yet something within me encouraged me to remain receptive. I decided to trust, even if only a little.

As we prayed together, something began to change within me. It is difficult to describe fully because some experiences of God transcend ordinary language. It was not merely a matter of hearing prayers spoken; it was an experience of feeling seen, known, and accompanied by God in a way that was deeply personal. During one of those moments of prayer in March, a specific date was revealed to Silas, and he asked me whether the 27th of August meant anything to me. At the time, the date meant nothing to me. There was no obvious explanation, no event attached to it, no natural reason it should have significance. I simply circled it on the calendar, held it in my heart, and continued with life.

Months passed. Then, in June, my superior informed me about the arrangements for my perpetual profession. Eventually the date was set for the 28th of August. In that instant, everything became clear. The date that had been revealed months earlier—the 27th of August—was the vigil before the very day of my profession. What moved me most was not simply the accuracy of the date. It was the realization that God knew my future long before I did. While I was struggling with uncertainty, He already knew where the journey was leading. While I was asking questions, He already held the answers. While I felt lost in the waiting, He was guiding every step.

That realization changed something profound within me. For perhaps the first time in a deeper way, I felt God’s closeness, and I understood that God truly singularly knows me. He is not distant from our struggles. He is not indifferent to our fears. He sees every disappointment, every hidden tear, every silent prayer, and every dream we carry within our hearts. The Psalmist says, “O Lord, you have searched me and known me,” and those words suddenly became more than Scripture to me, they became reality.

When I look back on that season now, I can see God’s presence woven through every part of it. He was present in the postponement, even though I did not understand it. He was present in the uncertainty, even though I felt alone. He was present in the friendship that led me to prayer. He was present in the revelation of the date. He was present in the eventual fulfillment of what had been promised. What once appeared to be disconnected events now form a beautiful testimony of divine providence. Nothing was accidental. God was working through every detail.

Yet this story is not only about me. It is about all of us. We all have seasons when life seems delayed. We all face moments when we cannot understand why certain doors remain closed. We all experience periods when God appears silent. In those moments, it is easy to assume that nothing is happening. But often the truth is exactly the opposite. God may be doing His deepest work beneath the surface, preparing us for what is yet to come. The waiting itself may be part of His plan.

That is why I want to encourage anyone who finds themselves in such a season today. If you are waiting for an answer, if you are carrying disappointment, if you are uncertain about your future, do not lose hope. Your current chapter is not the whole story. The God who guided me through my uncertainty is the same God who walks with you through yours. The God who revealed His faithfulness in my life remains faithful today. Your waiting is not wasted. Your delay is not necessarily a denial. God sees what you cannot yet see and knows what you do not yet know.

My experience awakened within me a deeper desire to know God—not simply to believe in Him intellectually, but to encounter Him personally. It taught me that faith is not merely about doctrines and ideas; it is about relationship. It is about discovering that God is present in the ordinary moments of life and that He continues to guide His people even today. Jesus Christ remains the same yesterday, today, and forever. The God who acted in Scripture continues to act in human lives. The God who spoke then still speaks now. The God who fulfilled His promises then still fulfills His promises today.

And so I invite you to open your heart. Not because every question will immediately be answered, nor because every difficulty will disappear overnight, but because God desires to meet us precisely where we are. Sometimes one encounter with God can transform the way we see our entire story. Sometimes a single moment of grace can illuminate years of confusion. Sometimes what appears to be a delay becomes the very place where we discover God most deeply.

May each one of us have the courage to trust Him in the waiting, to seek Him in the uncertainty, and to believe that even now He is guiding our steps. For the God who knows our past and holds our future has never stopped walking with us. And His plans for us remain plans filled with hope.